I Overcomplicated Datadog Metric Types Until They Finally Made Sense

Hello, my name is Nick and I have a weird brain. I think it’s a pretty cool one, but it definitely doesn’t work as the manual suggests. After explaining overly complex things to people before, I’ve had them look at me and say, “man, I would love to see what it’s like in there for a day.” Hell no you don’t want that, it’s loud in here because the world's worst jukebox is playing at full blast and has a tendency to take some of the worst earworms of songs and play fragments of them on repeat, and every other thought is an intrusive one.